


All I Want for Christmas

by equilateral_asshat



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: F/M, pinecest - Freeform, pinescest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 08:33:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17019306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/equilateral_asshat/pseuds/equilateral_asshat





	All I Want for Christmas

Dipper had never seen Mabel so excited to meet Santa Claus. This wouldn’t be a shock to many people, save for the fact that they were seventeen.

“Mabel, come on, calm down!” he begged, laughing with embarrassment. They were standing in the line at the Gravity Falls mall, as this year they had been invited to spend Christmas with Soos’ family. Mabel had jumped at the chance, eager to spend Christmas where it snowed.

“No can do, Dipperoo!” she chimed. “This year’s the year I finally get a good pic with Santa!” She bounced in place, every bell on her sweater jingling.

That was another reason Dipper wanted her to calm down, was the outfits. She had absolutely insisted that they dress up for the special occasion of meeting Santa. And, in true Mabel fashion, she had designed the outfits herself.

Her headband bore a pair of fleece antlers, wrapped in silver ribbons tied into dainty bows. Her green sweater sported a few dozen bells, each painted to look like a christmas tree ornament. Her her skirt was a dark, dark blue, with a string of LEDs wired between the layers, twinkling gently. Her leggings were striped like candy canes, and her shoes were a bright green to match the sweater.

Dipper was wearing a hat that she had fastened costume elf ears onto, along with a bright red sweater that had a snowman patched onto the front. He also had on black slacks, but Mabel had forced him to wear the shoes she had modified, ones with long, pointed, curling toes, tipped in a jingle bell each. He had tried to refuse the shoes, but she had given him _the look_. And he couldn’t say no to that.

So now, here they stood, in a line filled with shrieking brats and impatient mothers, to meet “Santa” so Mabel could finally get a decent picture with him. Over the years, as they got older, she had never gotten a picture with Santa she could truly call herself proud of.

She was either always asleep, or crying, and when they were twelve, there was a freak snowstorm that shut everything down for a week. She had missed her final chance to get her photo with Santa, as their parents insisted she was now too old to want to meet him. It had been devastating to her.

Sure, she _knew_ that Santa was unlikely to be real. But after that first summer in Gravity Falls, she was willing to give the jolly old elf another chance to prove he was real. And, also, without their mom and dad around to try and shame her out of it, she was gonna get a picture with Santa, even if she was seventeen, dangit!

“Alright, who’s next?!” called out the little, middle aged lady manning the head of the line. The child in front of Dipper and Mabel scampered over to the incredibly fake looking “Santa’s Workshop” to meet the Mall Santa, and Dipper could hear Mabel squeaking excitedly with each bounce.

“Gonna! Meet! Santa!” she exclaimed. “Gonna! Get! My picture with’im!”

Dipper shook his head, rolling his eyes. He’d never admit it, but this sort of thing, this enthusiasm she showed for what should be such a mundane, boring thing for a seventeen year old girl to do, was one of the reasons he loved her. _Love_ -loved her. Which was also why he had agreed. He knew that she’d be the absolute picture of Christmas cheer the entire time, and he needed that boost during the holidays.

Some of the other people in line shot the twins a few confused glares, and Dipper could only shrug at them, smiling apologetically.

“She really wants to meet Santa,” he told the lady directly behind them. The woman just nodded, unconvinced, one arm stretched out to shield her small child in case these crazy teens snapped.

“Okay, who’s next?”

“Me!” Mabel cried out happily, giggling and clapping as she bounced. The lady looked at Mabel, then at Dipper, and back to Mabel.

“Um, dear, aren’t you a little old to belie-” she started to argue, but Dipper was quickly motioning with his hand across his neck, shaking his head at her. She frowned, then shrugged. “Alright then, I guess!”

She pulled the garland-wrapped velvet roped off of one hook, and with her hand tightly clamped around Dipper’s, Mabel skipped her way towards the hokey-looking set.

Once they stepped in, Dipper made a mental note that okay, maybe it wasn’t _that_ hokey. The trees were real, and smelled fantastic. And all the lighting was pretty good. And the elves they had working on the toys were pretty highly detailed. In fact, that one just sneezed. Wait.

“Jeff?” he mumbled. The gnome pressed a finger to his own lips in a shushing manner.

“You didn’t see me, I didn’t see you!” he demanded. Dipper just shrugged. Good enough for him!

As the passed into the next area, Mabel’s eyes went wide, sparkling with wonder. She’d found him! She was finally getting her picture with Santa!

Sitting in a large throne that appeared to be sculpted to look like gingerbread, sat a heavyset man dressed in a big red coat. He had on a long, white beard, as well as the telltale stocking cap complete with the white puff ball on the end. His arms bulged in their sleeves, and his hands were capped in stubby fingers.

Dipper, however, noted several things that seemed off. Firstly, the blonde mop of hair that was trying to escape the hat. Secondly, the old aviator shades that this “Santa” wore seemed very inappropriate. And, lastly, he was slouched lazily in the chair, as if he was bored between photoshoots.

Mabel didn’t seem to catch any of that. She leapt a foot into the air, arms thrown wide. “Santa Claus!” With a quick hop and a skip, she had launched herself into his lap. The large man grunted as she landed, but then merely shook his head with a laugh.

“Well hey there Vixen, who let you out of the stable?” he teased, giving her antlers a poke. She giggled, hands clasped in her lap. “Alright, little lady, how ‘bout you tell Santa what you want for Christmas, ya dig?”

Dipper’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. He knew that voice. And as the Santa shifted to sit up better, he saw a familiar glimpse of an amulet under that beard. Of the interwoven gender symbols. He furrowed his brow at this obvious impostor.

 _Why is Love God posing as a Mall Santa?!_ Dipper wondered, face contorted with confusion. He watched as Mabel listed off all the things she wanted for Christmas, like a new Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle (Waddles had chewed up the last one), a hundred pounds of yarn, a gallon of sprinkles, and so on. She had absolutely no chill, it seemed, counting of things on her fingers as she listed them.

“Wow, that’s an awful lot! But hey, tell ya what, you be sure to write out a letter and send off to me, and I’ll getcha as much of it as I can, cool?” Love God asked. Mabel beamed, nodding enthusiastically. “Now then, howsabout we get this picture underway! Santa’s got a lot of little dudes to talk to before Christmas rolls ‘round!”

“Okay!” Mabel cheerily replied. Then, with a frown, she looked over at Dipper. “Hey, c’mere, you’re in this photo too!”

“Mabel, please-”

Her lower lip poked out, trembling. Her eyes seemed to double in size as her eyebrows drooped. Ugh, there it was again, _the look_.

“Okay, okay! Fine, I’ll just stand right h-” he started, stepping into frame, but Love God quickly got a chubby arm around his waist and sat him in his lap. For as flabby as the cherub looked, he was deceptively strong!

“If y’get your photo taken with Santa, ya gotta get it in his lap, dude!” the false Santa playfully demanded. “Now smile for the nice camera lady!”

Dipper shook his head for the umpteenth time that day, followed by a glance over at his sister.

She was beaming, positively overjoyed. Her smile was so wide that it threatened to lop her head in half if she smiled any bigger. Her attitude was infectious, and he felt a smile turn the corners of his mouth upwards as he swiveled to look at the camera lady. There was a bright flash of light that left him momentarily blinded (and envying Love God’s shades), and Mabel squealed with giddy delight.

She gave ‘Santa’ a big hug, thanked him for the picture, and skipped off. Dipper went to stand up, but he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Not so fast, giant elf man!” Love God teased. “You sat in the lap, but you did not spill the list! Y’gotta tell me whatcha want first!”

“Oh come on, really?” he half whispered. “I’m way too old to believe in Santa, man, I was just here to make my sister happy.”

“Dude, Pines,” Love God mumbled. “I got a reputation to uphold, just play along.”

“Wait, you recognized-” Dipper quickly muttered, and Love God simply lifted his shades and shot him a wink. Dipper groaned. “And you knew I knew who you were.”

“Well yeah dawg, I never forget a face!”

With a defeated sigh, Dipper spread his hands out. “Okay, look, I can’t even think of anything I really want.”

“Don’t lie to me, man. That puts ya on the naughty list!”

“You aren’t really Santa!” he hissed. Love God rolled his eyes.

“Look man. I can sense desire, kinda who I am, what I do. Your heart wants something, what is it?”

Dipper frowned, eyes downcast, no longer interested in even playing along. He gave a defeated sigh.

“I can’t have it, it doesn’t matter.”

“Nah man, this is Christmas, at least let Love Santa try and help out!” An incredulous stare from Dipper was met with a lazy, jolly smile. “Come ooonnn, tell me what it is.”

“I just,” he mumbled. Why was it so hard to just make something up? To get out of this grown cherub’s lap and go rejoin his sister as she waited for the photos to print? He looked over towards her, and a sad smile overtook his face. “All I want… is for my sister to be happy.”

Love God stared at him over the rim of his glasses. Dipper shrank into his own chest a bit, rubbing at the sleeve of his sweater with his other hand.

“Nothing else?”

“Well…” Dipper thought for a moment. “You got anything that can help me get over a girl in that coat of yours?”

“Dude, nuh uh! I stopped carrying in public after your sister grabbed my juice four years back! And besides,” he said, fixing a level, stern stare at the Pines brother he had sat on his knee. “Maybe you should just listen to your heart instead of ignoring it.”

“But, I can’t… I mean, the girl I want….” he couldn’t formulate a solid string of words. The lady from the head of the line poked her head around the corner and cleared her throat.

“Santa, we have other children waiting!” she chimed, the cheer in her voice strained. Love God shot finger guns at her playfully, and she rolled her eyes as she vanished.

“Look, Dipper,” Love God explained cautiously. “I can tell you this much; what you feel right now, is true. Even if it hurts. So instead of worrying about how _you’re_ gonna make _her_ feel,” he went on, poking a stubby digit into Dipper’s chest. “Just do your best to make sure she’s happy. This girl will come around.”

“Yeah but-” Dipper started, but Love God shook his head, then gave him a wink before shooing him off of his knee.

“Go get your photo, have a Merry Christmas dudes!”

Dipper stuffed his hands in his pockets with a heavy sigh, walking along. He joined Mabel at a nearby bench, where she sat, staring joyfully at the pictures.

They were each sat on the impostor Santa’s lap, both smiling brightly at the camera. Love God had a hand on each of their shoulders, smiling warmly under his shades. Dipper had to admit, it was an amazing shot.

“I’m gonna love this picture forever,” Mabel sighed, content. Dipper rolled his eyes, but grinned despite himself as he held out a hand to help her to her feet.

“All right, come on, we gotta get back on the road before traffic gets nuts.” She merely nodded, looping an arm through his as they walked. Dipper was lost in thought, pretty much navigating the mall on autopilot as the wandered.

What did Love God mean? How could he possibly know that Dipper’s love could ever be returned? He was pretty sure every force in the universe was working to make sure that never happened. He frowned as he walked, chewing gently on the inside of his lip as he worried about it.

He was stopped abruptly by Mabel refusing to budge from her spot, a short ways from the entrance to the mall. He grunted, trying not to stumble as he unwound his arm from hers.

“Mabel, you gotta be more careful, why did you st-” he began, but she leaned in and planted a smooch on his cheek, right at the corner of his mouth. He felt his face go as red as his sweater as he stared at her, bewildered, and she pointed up.

A glance following her finger, he saw a sprig of mistletoe that had been hung for decoration, in an archway. Well, that certainly explained that, he supposed.

“It’s bad luck to not get your kiss under the mistletoe,” she stated matter of factly, looping her arm around his again and starting back towards the exit. With, he noted, a newfound spring in her step, and a touch of rosiness on her cheeks as she glanced at him.

Maybe Love God was right.

Maybe Christmas wouldn’t be so bad.

-Merry Christmas!


End file.
